Post divorce dating anxiety

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If the other partner is not in sync, agreement, or being honest about their own hopes, wishes, needs and wants with their partner or themselves, then some soul-searching is in order …

to paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can string us along without our consent.” The cycle of expectation-and-disappointment is a brutal experience for the person who rides that roller-coaster but they would be helped to realize that they bought their own ticket.

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But I’m not sure I fully felt the gravity of my loss – our loss. Finally, I recognized that three years’ worth of grief had come knocking.In other words, they are never getting into a serious relationship. I have met both kinds of men and women, and those in between. When the divorce is still fresh, some people have no interest in dating, but eventually then get married again.When the divorce is still fresh, others jump right into marriage number two, which in my opinion leads to divorce number two (but that’s another blog.) There are those who end up married in time, and those who never get married.There are endless scenarios because every situation is different. I think about this question every time I hear someone lament having a partner that is “a commitment-phobe” or, more commonly “AFRAID of commitment” … It’s a tricky little turn of phrase because it pre-supposes that the ability to commit is the natural and desired want of any well-adjusted person …you wouldn’t say a non-smoker is a “cigarette-phobe” or a peaceful person is an “anger-phobe” because healthy lungs and grace are aspirational and fearing their opposites would never be judged with a label. We often take for granted that people “should” (ooh, red flag when we say “should”) want to commit.

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